I knew Jewish girls with brothers (I had none) who suffered your same experience. One friend was still bitter in middle age at being automatically denied the college education she would have graced (hey, girls don’t need education!) for the sake of the brother who dis-graced it.
Ah, yes, and whichever way it goes, it’s always meant to be good for you. Which explains the old adage, The road to hell is paved with good intentions. Because the intentions are usually good. (Although not entirely or automatically.)
As for my own parenting? Not my strong suit. Reacting AGAINST things can bring you, oddly enough, into the same not-good places, albeit from another direction.
All of which could lead us to a discussion of forgiveness, much devalued in our world and sorely needed. But that would really open up a discussion!
I like the new pope’s style. The substance is still the same, true, but when he says, Who am I to judge? it really makes a difference.