A fascinating post Judith. I wouldn’t have got the Where of your first ‘What is this’ but I read the rest of it correctly. Fully take the point when applied to the second image through the hole in the wall.
Your own reality is subjective purely because it is a persona you build from childhood throughout your life. For some people it is a subjugated reaction to the peer pressures of those around – for others they form their own persona outside of those pressures and ride the storm of disapproval because everyone is supposed to fit into the pigeonholes created by the majority. And, of course there is the various shades of the middle road where much horse trading goes on to achieve a balance of acceptance.
I suspect I may have wandered away from the essence of your post Judith, but then I have always been a cat that walks alone 